Overhaulin'

On Friday, I wrote about doing a complete overhaul on my basal/bolus rates to get a better handle on my numbers. I wasn't sure what to expect, so I went into it with an open mind and some hope that things would finally be better...or at least not as bad as they had been! Well, I'm happy to report that although I've still had some wacky numbers (then again, who doesn't?!), everything is looking much better than before.

I was very skeptical of the one basal rate working effectively, but lo and behold, it seems to be working! My current rate is a little higher at night than the previous ones and quite a bit lower during the day than before, but it seems to be keeping me steady through the entire 24hrs. I'm thinking this single rate thing is going to stick around for a while!

Bolus-wise, I've been trying to trust the bolus wizard, so my postprandials are also much, much better. It's almost weird seeing numbers that are very close to the normal range, because they've been so far from that lately. I'm so glad to feel like I'm finally gaining control of the situation again...those of you who know me are well aware that I'm a perfectionist, so I like to keep my numbers in a tight range. It's always worked for me without too much trouble (except for at the very first of my pregnancy), but I've been so terrified of lows recently that I've ran quite a bit higher than normal just to avoid this...and avoid them I have, but that also means that my average is not where I want it to be.

I'm hoping that with the changes I've made and a little luck, I'll be able to bring everything back to where I want (/need?) them. I've also been working on the stress in my life and trying to improve things (myself included) so I can feel more like myself again. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with everything that I forget to actually live. Motherhood is hard, and diabetes makes it infinitely harder, but we all do the best we can with what we're given...some of us are just given a little more to deal with than others =)

I knew theoretically how I was supposed to deal with my diabetes on top of parenthood, but reality is always quite a bit different (and a lot less rosy) than the books make it out to be! It seems like whenever my baby needs me most, my diabetes decides to make itself (well) known. Any other time it's perfectly content to lurk in the background, but whenever Baby Girl is throwing one of her Linda-Blair-esque fits or needs to be fed, my CGM is bleeping its lows or highs. I then have to stop what I'm doing and fix the problem, all while my poor baby screams. Her cry is my Kryptonite...it completely gets to me. I can't stand listening to her cry...needless to say, the "Cry It Out" approach is pretty much out of the question for us!

Bottom line, diabetes sucks. But until there's a cure (yay for the JDRF Walk tomorrow!), each of us has to deal with it the best we can...all of the ups, downs, and in-betweens. Some of us deal with everything better than others, and all of us have times when we lose our grip on things. The main thing is to refocus, reevaluate, and try your hardest to keep things in perspective =)