I've been working from home for about a month now, and so far so good! I love not having the stress of getting me and Baby Girl to the office every day, and not having to worry about getting everything done at home--I'm already there! Of course, the laundry still isn't doing itself (darn!), but I feel more on top of things at home since I moved my work there. These days, I get up whenever the little boss does (which never seems to be very late!), check my emails, and do whatever needs to be done, whether it's a CAD drawing or the dishes. The funny thing is, I figured being at home would give me some time to catch up on all the shows I've missed while working, but my DVR is still just as full as when I was going to the office! There is always something that needs to be done...
I was hoping (and still am!) that the reduction in stress from this change will help me bring my blood sugars back into the range I like them. The first couple of weeks, my average dropped about 10 points or so, but it's leveled out again since then. I had my first appointment with my endocrinologist since October last week, which is crazy since I'm supposed to see him every four months! Due to an unexpected snowstorm when my appointment was originally scheduled, they had to push it back a month or so. I didn't realize it had been a whole six months since I'd seen him! Anyway, there isn't much to report as far as the actual appointment goes, though there never really is anything to say about that part! Then there's the lab work...
Last time I saw my endo, my A1c had gone up from 5.5% to 6.4%. Back then, I was pleasantly surprised because I was expecting it to be quite a bit higher since I'd been running a higher-than-normal average to eliminate lows as much as possible with all of my Chiari stuff going on. This time, after all of the work I've put into getting my numbers back down where I want them, I was hoping for an even lower number. Suffice to say, that wasn't the case. I got my results in the mail last Saturday, and was very upset to see my A1c was 6.6%. That's right, it went UP. I was literally in tears out of pure frustration. It seems like no matter what I do, I can't get everything back on track. I don't know if it's hormones, my crazy body, or just something I'm doing wrong, but I just can't seem to fix my blood sugars or lose the weight I've been trying to get off for the past year. You have no idea how incredibly maddening it is to try and try and try, and not see any results. I started walking again a few weeks ago, and have been trying to eat healthier as well. I think I've done fairly well, and yet I've GAINED a couple of pounds. Seriously? As hard as it's been for me to lose the last 10 lbs, I NEVER have trouble maintaining my weight. I don't think it could be muscle, either, because I'm not lifting weights or anything-just walking. I know they say not to weigh yourself all the time, but I've weighed myself pretty much every day the past several years because it helps keep me on track...most of the time.
Needless to say, I'm pretty discouraged right now. I'm trying to lower my blood sugars and lose weight, and my numbers and weight are going up instead. When I think of all the effort I've put into both things, I just want to scream...and give up. I don't have many of these "poor pitiful me" moments, but I think even the most optimistic of us go through those phases at some point. It's very hard to give and give and give, only to see nothing in return. It may be character-building, but it's not fun.
The night before last, I reworked my basal/bolus rates on my pump AGAIN in hopes that I can straighten things out. This time I re-read Gary Sheiner's "Think Like A Pancreas" to see if I could find anything in there that would help me. The one thing that jumped out is the timing of boluses...My after meal numbers are the worst offenders in my blood sugar control mission, and with all the craziness that comes along with being a mom, I sometimes don't bolus until the end of a meal-especially if my blood sugar is on the lower side of normal to begin with. Obviously, that doesn't work so well. I've never actually forgotten a bolus, but since the peak from insulin should coincide with the peak in blood sugar from your food intake, timing is huge. I'm going to make a conscious effort to stay on top of it and bolus right before or at the start of a meal. Hopefully between that and my new basal rates, my numbers will get better. I don't know what I'm going to have to do if they don't!
Showing posts with label Diet/Eating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Diet/Eating. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Monday, February 11, 2013
God's Timing
I thought I would try to blog more frequently this year, but once again it's been a month since my last post! I discussed last time how I fantasize at times about what life would be like for me now if I didn't have to deal with T1D, but I want to talk this time about something a lot of people bring up when I tell them I was diagnosed with something that used to be referred to as "juvenile diabetes" as an adult.
As many of you already know, I was diagnosed with T1D on August 24, 2010 (my seven-month wedding "anniversary"), at age 22. Some people think it's probably harder on me since I know what it was like to be T1D-free, and others think it's better because I got to have a normal childhood. To be honest, it's both. I sometimes think about how easy things were before, when I could eat something and not have to think about how it was going to affect my blood sugars. I always ate fairly healthy most of the time before, but it was still nice to have the option not to every now and then and not having to worry about it having a lasting impact on my body! I think that being healthy, or even being "normal", is something that we all take for granted until our lives change and make us think about things differently.
On the other hand, I'm so, so glad I was able to have a pretty average, healthy childhood. I didn't have to worry about my blood sugar being low during class (or recess!), or trying to hide an insulin pump under a prom dress. My pancreas did all of the thinking and worrying for me...until it quit. I think a lot about how I could have easily been diagnosed a year or two before, while I was still in college. I don't know if I could have graduated with a 4.0 had I been forced to deal with T1D on top of everything else. I biked across campus to get to my classes, so I would have had to factor in how that would affect my blood sugar on top of an already hectic eating schedule...one semester I had classes from 9:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m., so I pretty much had to eat lunch at breakfast time if I didn't want to starve for the rest of the day. If I had T1D back then, I wouldn't have been able to do that.
When it comes down to it, I know God has a plan for my life and that I was diagnosed when I was for a reason. I'm incredibly thankful that He gave me the time to get my body back under (relative) control before we decided to have children instead of me having to figure out an entirely new life during pregnancy or while trying to take care of a baby. It's hard enough caring for a little one and dealing with diabetes at the same time even with the past couple of years' experience under my belt. Our now-toddler is pretty high-maintenance at times, but my diabetes is just as bad as a colicky infant...but sadly, it's one that never grows up!
Timing is everything in life, and with diabetes it's no different. Some think that being diagnosed as a young child (or baby) would be preferable to being diagnosed later in life because then "you wouldn't know any different," but try telling that to the parents of a 15-month-old whose life won't be the same until a cure is found. Diabetes is so much more manageable today than it was before insulin was discovered a little less than a century ago (when it was a virtual death sentence), or even before the advent of home blood-glucose meters in the last 40 years; however, it's still an absolutely life-changing event for the person who is forced to deal with it.
I don't think people without diabetes can truly understand how gut-wrenching it is to know you're going to have to depend on a medication for the rest of your life (at least until a cure is found!), something that is far from perfect. You can easily use too little or too much; dosing is not an exact science. And even if you do get the dosing exactly right based on what you're eating, a multitude of other things (that you can't always account for) can impact your blood sugar levels--stress, sleep (or lack thereof), exercise (or not exercising)...the list goes on.
Having tight blood sugar control also comes at a price--the lower your average, the higher your risk of lows. Low blood sugars are so frightening to me now that I have someone that depends so fully on me that I usually err on the side of caution these days and run a bit higher than I'd like just to avoid them. This is the catch-22 I'm facing now that we're trying to decide when to expand our family. Before I didn't really have to worry about the lows, so I would always choose them over a high. Now I just don't have that option, so getting back to the level of control I had before and during my pregnancy has been extremely difficult.
For that reason, we've decided that I'm going to have to make some changes to my routine before we think about another baby. The stress of coming to the office every day and taking care of Baby Girl while I'm working (and the fact that my husband is working out of the state until June) makes my blood sugars even harder to maintain, so I talked to my bosses(/parents) recently about working from home the majority of the time since my averages are always better when I'm there. I don't know when I'll make that transition, but I'm hoping it will make my life a little easier. At this point, any amount of "easier" is better in my book! I went back and forth over this decision, but at some point you just have to do what's best for you and your family. In this case my health is also hanging in the balance, so that adds an entirely different dimension to the game.
While I don't know when we'll seriously consider adding to our family, once again I know God has a plan for us and everything will happen in His time. I'm just going to have to trust that whatever needs to happen to get my life (and blood sugar) back under control will happen, and do what I can to make things better for my family!
As many of you already know, I was diagnosed with T1D on August 24, 2010 (my seven-month wedding "anniversary"), at age 22. Some people think it's probably harder on me since I know what it was like to be T1D-free, and others think it's better because I got to have a normal childhood. To be honest, it's both. I sometimes think about how easy things were before, when I could eat something and not have to think about how it was going to affect my blood sugars. I always ate fairly healthy most of the time before, but it was still nice to have the option not to every now and then and not having to worry about it having a lasting impact on my body! I think that being healthy, or even being "normal", is something that we all take for granted until our lives change and make us think about things differently.
On the other hand, I'm so, so glad I was able to have a pretty average, healthy childhood. I didn't have to worry about my blood sugar being low during class (or recess!), or trying to hide an insulin pump under a prom dress. My pancreas did all of the thinking and worrying for me...until it quit. I think a lot about how I could have easily been diagnosed a year or two before, while I was still in college. I don't know if I could have graduated with a 4.0 had I been forced to deal with T1D on top of everything else. I biked across campus to get to my classes, so I would have had to factor in how that would affect my blood sugar on top of an already hectic eating schedule...one semester I had classes from 9:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m., so I pretty much had to eat lunch at breakfast time if I didn't want to starve for the rest of the day. If I had T1D back then, I wouldn't have been able to do that.
When it comes down to it, I know God has a plan for my life and that I was diagnosed when I was for a reason. I'm incredibly thankful that He gave me the time to get my body back under (relative) control before we decided to have children instead of me having to figure out an entirely new life during pregnancy or while trying to take care of a baby. It's hard enough caring for a little one and dealing with diabetes at the same time even with the past couple of years' experience under my belt. Our now-toddler is pretty high-maintenance at times, but my diabetes is just as bad as a colicky infant...but sadly, it's one that never grows up!
Timing is everything in life, and with diabetes it's no different. Some think that being diagnosed as a young child (or baby) would be preferable to being diagnosed later in life because then "you wouldn't know any different," but try telling that to the parents of a 15-month-old whose life won't be the same until a cure is found. Diabetes is so much more manageable today than it was before insulin was discovered a little less than a century ago (when it was a virtual death sentence), or even before the advent of home blood-glucose meters in the last 40 years; however, it's still an absolutely life-changing event for the person who is forced to deal with it.
I don't think people without diabetes can truly understand how gut-wrenching it is to know you're going to have to depend on a medication for the rest of your life (at least until a cure is found!), something that is far from perfect. You can easily use too little or too much; dosing is not an exact science. And even if you do get the dosing exactly right based on what you're eating, a multitude of other things (that you can't always account for) can impact your blood sugar levels--stress, sleep (or lack thereof), exercise (or not exercising)...the list goes on.
Having tight blood sugar control also comes at a price--the lower your average, the higher your risk of lows. Low blood sugars are so frightening to me now that I have someone that depends so fully on me that I usually err on the side of caution these days and run a bit higher than I'd like just to avoid them. This is the catch-22 I'm facing now that we're trying to decide when to expand our family. Before I didn't really have to worry about the lows, so I would always choose them over a high. Now I just don't have that option, so getting back to the level of control I had before and during my pregnancy has been extremely difficult.
For that reason, we've decided that I'm going to have to make some changes to my routine before we think about another baby. The stress of coming to the office every day and taking care of Baby Girl while I'm working (and the fact that my husband is working out of the state until June) makes my blood sugars even harder to maintain, so I talked to my bosses(/parents) recently about working from home the majority of the time since my averages are always better when I'm there. I don't know when I'll make that transition, but I'm hoping it will make my life a little easier. At this point, any amount of "easier" is better in my book! I went back and forth over this decision, but at some point you just have to do what's best for you and your family. In this case my health is also hanging in the balance, so that adds an entirely different dimension to the game.
While I don't know when we'll seriously consider adding to our family, once again I know God has a plan for us and everything will happen in His time. I'm just going to have to trust that whatever needs to happen to get my life (and blood sugar) back under control will happen, and do what I can to make things better for my family!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Pumpin' It Up...And the Horror Stories of Using a CGM
This weekend, my husband and I had our one year wedding anniversary (yay!), and I got a coat of paint on my bathroom walls (which I've been meaning to do forever). In D-news, I thought I was going to make it through the weekend without a reading over 200, but no such luck. When I checked before bed last night, I was at 212...Bummer. I'm sure it had something to do with the fact that I threw my usual dietary caution to the wind in celebration of our anniversary--I had chocolate-filled croissants and fruit for breakfast, a Dairy Queen grilled chicken sandwich & tater tots for lunch, popcorn w/chocolate-covered almonds at the movies, and fajitas for supper. Then, after we got home, I had a couple of glasses of Banfi Rosa Regale. I thought I'd correctly bolused for all of it, and was doing fairly well until that sparkling wine...which, I have to admit, was pretty sweet, and I think may have been the cause of my elevated BG. Nevertheless, I couldn't do much about it at that point, so I went to bed and woke up normal (or as normal as I can be) this morning.
This afternoon, upon arriving back to work from lunch, I got a call from my Medtronic rep informing me that they would be shipping my pump and equipment today and that I should receive it by Wednesday. I'm super excited to get my pump and start using it, but that excitement was curtailed somewhat when I started reading about the Medtronic CGM...Blood, scar tissue, pain?! OMG. Pain, I can deal with...To an extent. Hello, I give myself 4+ insulin injections per day on top of stabbing my finger 8+ times. But a 1/2 inch probe (which means a 1/2 inch needle for insertion) being propelled towards my fragile body with an insertion device? Oh boy. I've seen the sensors in person, but never thought much about them (past "Wow, that's a long needle..."); however, reading all of these forums and blogs is making me anxious. I've had tiny bruises and bumps and even a little blood with my injections, but nothing compared to the torture described on the diabetes web communities.
When I decided to get the CGM in addition to my pump, I was only thinking about the advantages it would give me in monitoring my BG levels, and that this would be incredibly helpful in bringing my A1C down to the proper pre-pregnancy range. That needle didn't scare me then because I figured I would just "deal with it" as I have with everything else in the past five months. Sticking my finger x times/day? No problem. MDI (Multiple Daily Injections) insulin therapy? I'm your girl. But as the reality of using the CGM and inserting the sensor is finally hitting me, I'm scared. The bloody pain and discomfort described by other users has me holding my breath in the way I do when I'm anxious about impending doom. It has me questioning whether or not I made the right decision in going with the Medtronic CGM, and if I'll be able to get past my fears to actually use it as it's intended.
The conclusion I've come to is that I'm going to have to just not think about it, put my big girl panties on, and deal with it. Because at the end of the day, all of this pain, discomfort, and general annoyance is worth it. As long as I can reach normal (or as near-normal as possible) BG and A1C numbers, which will give me the best possible chance of having a healthy pregnancy and baby, I'm in it for the long haul. Hopefully, the horror stories of the Medtronic CGM will just reflect human tendency to complain about bad experiences, but not bother sharing good ones. And to be fair, they haven't all been bad...Amy of Too Sweet, a mother of a beautiful little princess with Type 1, sings its praises and emphasizes what a wonderful tool it is in managing such an unpredictable disease. Many users point out that realistically, you do have to be committed to wearing the device and acknowledging its limitations to fully appreciate what it can (and can't) do for your diabetes management. And, let's face it, most things related to managing this disease aren't the most comfortable things in the world to do. I suppose all we can do is take it one day at a time and make the most of what we're given. I'm very thankful that I have the opportunity to use this tool, and despite my reservations, I'm hoping and praying that it will exceed my expectations and give me an extra edge over my D-life.
This afternoon, upon arriving back to work from lunch, I got a call from my Medtronic rep informing me that they would be shipping my pump and equipment today and that I should receive it by Wednesday. I'm super excited to get my pump and start using it, but that excitement was curtailed somewhat when I started reading about the Medtronic CGM...Blood, scar tissue, pain?! OMG. Pain, I can deal with...To an extent. Hello, I give myself 4+ insulin injections per day on top of stabbing my finger 8+ times. But a 1/2 inch probe (which means a 1/2 inch needle for insertion) being propelled towards my fragile body with an insertion device? Oh boy. I've seen the sensors in person, but never thought much about them (past "Wow, that's a long needle..."); however, reading all of these forums and blogs is making me anxious. I've had tiny bruises and bumps and even a little blood with my injections, but nothing compared to the torture described on the diabetes web communities.
When I decided to get the CGM in addition to my pump, I was only thinking about the advantages it would give me in monitoring my BG levels, and that this would be incredibly helpful in bringing my A1C down to the proper pre-pregnancy range. That needle didn't scare me then because I figured I would just "deal with it" as I have with everything else in the past five months. Sticking my finger x times/day? No problem. MDI (Multiple Daily Injections) insulin therapy? I'm your girl. But as the reality of using the CGM and inserting the sensor is finally hitting me, I'm scared. The bloody pain and discomfort described by other users has me holding my breath in the way I do when I'm anxious about impending doom. It has me questioning whether or not I made the right decision in going with the Medtronic CGM, and if I'll be able to get past my fears to actually use it as it's intended.
The conclusion I've come to is that I'm going to have to just not think about it, put my big girl panties on, and deal with it. Because at the end of the day, all of this pain, discomfort, and general annoyance is worth it. As long as I can reach normal (or as near-normal as possible) BG and A1C numbers, which will give me the best possible chance of having a healthy pregnancy and baby, I'm in it for the long haul. Hopefully, the horror stories of the Medtronic CGM will just reflect human tendency to complain about bad experiences, but not bother sharing good ones. And to be fair, they haven't all been bad...Amy of Too Sweet, a mother of a beautiful little princess with Type 1, sings its praises and emphasizes what a wonderful tool it is in managing such an unpredictable disease. Many users point out that realistically, you do have to be committed to wearing the device and acknowledging its limitations to fully appreciate what it can (and can't) do for your diabetes management. And, let's face it, most things related to managing this disease aren't the most comfortable things in the world to do. I suppose all we can do is take it one day at a time and make the most of what we're given. I'm very thankful that I have the opportunity to use this tool, and despite my reservations, I'm hoping and praying that it will exceed my expectations and give me an extra edge over my D-life.
Monday, November 29, 2010
"Mouthwatering Monday" - Leftovers
Bonus Days!
Monday, November 29
“Mouthwatering Monday” – How long did those Thanksgiving Day leftovers last? Leftovers can be a useful strategy in saving money and making your portions smaller, but many people don’t like them. How do you feel about leftovers?
We ate at my parents' house for Thanksgiving this year, so we didn't have leftovers at our house. I'm sure my parents still have some left in their fridge, but it won't bother my dad--he was telling my husband that he looks forward to Thanksgiving because he can eat turkey sandwiches afterwards!
I've been out of college for a year and a half and out of my parents' house for almost five years, and I've still not mastered the art of cooking for one or two people...We almost always end up with leftovers, but that's fine with us. Usually, whatever we don't eat one night at supper we eat the next day for lunch, and most of the time my husband and I both would rather eat those leftovers than go out to eat.
Tonight I made homemade ground beef and vegetable soup for supper, which was enough for 8+ servings. I ate one bowl and my husband ate two, so we had plenty leftover. While we were sitting there finishing up our meal, I had a "lightbulb" moment--I decided I would freeze half of the leftovers for a quick supper one of these nights when I don't have the time or energy to cook. I freeze bread and meat all the time, but I've never frozen a whole entree before; however, I know that many people make twice as much at meals just so they can freeze half for later.
As long as it freezes well, I think that this strategy will work well for us because even though we actually don't mind eating leftovers, we always end up throwing away a lot of food. I hate wasting food and abhor cleaning old food out the refrigerator, so I'm crossing my fingers that this new solution will be a good one.
Monday, November 29
“Mouthwatering Monday” – How long did those Thanksgiving Day leftovers last? Leftovers can be a useful strategy in saving money and making your portions smaller, but many people don’t like them. How do you feel about leftovers?
We ate at my parents' house for Thanksgiving this year, so we didn't have leftovers at our house. I'm sure my parents still have some left in their fridge, but it won't bother my dad--he was telling my husband that he looks forward to Thanksgiving because he can eat turkey sandwiches afterwards!
I've been out of college for a year and a half and out of my parents' house for almost five years, and I've still not mastered the art of cooking for one or two people...We almost always end up with leftovers, but that's fine with us. Usually, whatever we don't eat one night at supper we eat the next day for lunch, and most of the time my husband and I both would rather eat those leftovers than go out to eat.
Tonight I made homemade ground beef and vegetable soup for supper, which was enough for 8+ servings. I ate one bowl and my husband ate two, so we had plenty leftover. While we were sitting there finishing up our meal, I had a "lightbulb" moment--I decided I would freeze half of the leftovers for a quick supper one of these nights when I don't have the time or energy to cook. I freeze bread and meat all the time, but I've never frozen a whole entree before; however, I know that many people make twice as much at meals just so they can freeze half for later.
As long as it freezes well, I think that this strategy will work well for us because even though we actually don't mind eating leftovers, we always end up throwing away a lot of food. I hate wasting food and abhor cleaning old food out the refrigerator, so I'm crossing my fingers that this new solution will be a good one.
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