Life Stages With Diabetes-DSMA Blog Carnival Post

Here is the topic for this month's DSMA Blog Carnival:

This month we are going to revisit the DSMA chat from March 16th – Life Stages with Diabetes.

Living with diabetes can be tough and we never get a break.  It’s quite easy to feel burnt out from everything we have to do to stay healthy.  When that happens, it can help to focus on the things, and the people, who make all our hard work worth it.  So this month, tell us:

How did relationships with other people help inspire you to take care of yourself?

First, some background.  When I was diagnosed in August 2010, one of the first worries and questions I had for my endocrinologist was about the possibility of having children in the near-ish future. He reassured me that I'd be "fine", and not to worry about it.  Of course, anyone who knows me is well aware that I can't just stand idly by waiting on things to happen, so I had to do something about it.  As soon as I was diagnosed, I ordered a bunch of books on diabetes; however, I had a harder time finding (accurate) information about diabetes as it relates to pregnancy.  Cheryl Akron's book "Balancing Pregnancy with Pre-Existing Diabetes: Healthy Mom, Healthy Baby" was a Godsend.  As one of two books I bought on the subject (the other being the ADA's out of print "101 Tips for a Healthy Pregnancy with Diabetes"), Cheryl's book was current (published in 2010) and thorough, covering everything from preconception to birth and beyond.  I felt much better about my ability to have a healthy pregnancy and baby after reading her book, and was then able to get on the ball and work toward becoming the healthiest I can be before we decide to start our family.  My CDE recommended I shoot for an A1C of 6.0% or less preconception, so I made the decision to start insulin and get on the pump (my endo would have been content to leave me on Janumet until our next appt, but I knew my control wasn't good enough with it and I had to try to stay ahead of the curve since I was coming out of my honeymoon period).  I've been using the Medtronic Minimed Paradigm Real-Time Revel 523 since January, and started the CGM last month.  Since then, my average has come down significantly, and I'm hoping (*fingers crossed*) that I'll hit my target when I go for my next A1C on May 16th.

Now, back to the subject at hand...My relationship with our future children has inspired me to take the best care of myself possible.  Don't get me wrong-my husband is wonderful and I don't know what I'd do without him, but my health doesn't have the same immediate, tangible impact on him that it will on our children.  If there is anything I can do to ensure they have a long, healthy life beginning at conception, I'm all in.  Since scientists now believe that our children's future health starts in the womb, I made the commitment months ago to do everything I can to have the healthiest pregnancy/baby/me possible.

It definitely hasn't been easy, though.  It's been an emotional roller coaster waiting around to start our family while I get my health in order because all of our friends already have one or two kids by now, and we're around them almost every weekend.  I love our friends dearly and adore their babies, but that's not to say it isn't difficult when I find myself twiddling my thumbs while everyone around me is holding/feeding/playing with their little ones.  A lot of times, it just downright sucks.  The holidays make it even harder because although my husband and I are included in the festivities, it's hard to be around everyone's little families while it's still just the two of us.  It's like we're always on the outside of a club we haven't earned membership to just yet.  Watching the babies "exchange" gifts and open their presents at our Christmas gathering was absolutely heartbreaking because all I could do was sit there with a smile plastered on my face when all I really wanted to do was go home and cry.  And that was after I was asked to take everyone's family pictures, only to have them forget about my husband and I...I ended up having to ask them to take our picture.

For that reason and others that I'll leave unmentioned (immediate family drama), it's been hard to get excited about starting our family recently.  It seems like every time I allow myself to get excited about it, I end up heartbroken again for one reason or another...It's no surprise, then, that it's easier to not feel at all rather than to feel the pain.  I'm super good at self-analyzing (I do have a minor in Psychology), but not so great at following my own advice.  I try to get past all of the mental hurdles and focus on the positives and our future, but it's hard to do when it seems like so many things aren't going your way.  I'm generally a very positive, optimistic person, but I'm human...I'm human and I have lots of feelings, both positive and negative. 

I didn't intend for this to be such a downer of a post, but sometimes that's what happens when you really open up.  In all of my blog posts, I strive to be honest about my feelings and thoughts, and they're not always peachy-keen...but then again, such is life, and especially life with diabetes.  It's full of ups and downs (and sometimes you end up sideways without knowing how you got there), but the thing that remains constant is that it's always changing.  In my 22 years of life thus far, the biggest thing I've learned is that all you can do is do the best with what you're given.  When life hands you diabetes, sometimes you just have to put your big girl panties on and deal with it, even on the days you don't want to...and those days are always the hardest.  I'll echo what I said in my first DSMA blog carnival post on exercise: just do it.  Even when you don't want to, no excuses.  If for nothing else, do it because the decisions we make every day (even/especially the "little" ones) shape our future.  On the days when my emotions are getting the best of me, I go for a run. By the time I get back, I always feel better about life.  That's the thing about having diabetes...you just have to take things as they come, deal with them the best you can, and hope you're doing enough to secure a healthy, happy, long future.  And you know what?  Even on the sucky "poor me" days, the future still looks pretty stinkin' good, because I can't wait until we have a cute, drooly little one of our own, and that keeps me going. =)

This post is my April entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival.  If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2011/april-dsma-blog-carnival/

Exercise Does a Body Good

Exercise.  It's a word that can strike fear and anxiety into the hearts of even the most well-intentioned people.  It's your body's best friend and a couch potato's worst enemy.  Even so, we are all aware of its many benefits (According to a Mayo Clinic article on the subject):

• Improved mood
• Disease prevention
• Weight management
• Increased energy
• Better sleep
• Improved sex life (*Ahem*)

Then, of course, there's the diabetes-specific benefit of exercise lowering your blood glucose levels and increasing the effectiveness of insulin in doing the same.

And yet, despite its many advantages, for many of us exercise is like doing your taxes: you know it needs to be done, but there's always tomorrow (and the next day, and the next); and after all, you're busy enough today.  You put it off until you absolutely have to do it-which many times, isn't until the event of an acute or chronic illness.  You just can't fit it into your hectic schedule, and even if you could, you wouldn't have the energy to so much as think about exercising.

I know because I've been there.  I've been there so often I should have a Frequent Exercise-Avoider's Rewards Card...In fact, I'm pretty sure I could have cashed in my points for one of those nifty logo-branded shirts by now.  The thing is, while many exercise-avoiders would tell you they don't like exercise at all, most of us actually just don't enjoy starting to exercise.  In reality, once we get going it's not so bad; it's getting started that's the problem.  Whether it's truly a scheduling issue (because who really has much if any spare time to do anything during the average day?) or a general lack of energy (when I get off work, I'm beat...like collapse-on-the-couch-and-don't-wanna-move-beat), all of us have a plethora of great (and oftentimes valid) excuses not to exercise.  Often, the want-to is there, but the motivation to actually do it is lacking.

What I'm about to tell you is going to sound annoyingly cliche and upbeat and you'll probably hate me for it.  But I started working out a few weeks ago for just 30 minutes at a time after I got home from work, and now I can't imagine not doing it.  It's truly become part of my daily routine, and it feels weird to miss a workout.  As for all of the exercise-inspiring benefits? Well, many of them aren't exactly measurable or even tangible, but the main benefit I've experienced is knowing that I'm doing something good for my health.

And you know what?  I'll be honest: it took a life-changing diagnosis to motivate me to get moving.  If not for my Type 1 diagnosis six months ago, I would most likely still be generally inactive.  I was overweight as a child, but lost around 40 lbs at 12 years old when I did Weight Watchers and played basketball.  I continued to play basketball and tennis and did cross country and track through junior high and part of high school, but as soon as the structured physical-activity time was taken out of my day, exercise became sporadic at best and completely nonexistent at worst.  I continued to eat a healthier diet right up until the day I was diagnosed, and maintained my weight fairly easily.  In fact, I have improved that area of my well-being even more in the past six months and have lost another 13-14 lbs after learning to count carbs through diabetes education. 

However, I was so overwhelmed for the first five months after my diagnosis that exercise still wasn't a big part of my life.  Up until about a month ago, I was too focused on getting my blood glucose numbers closer to my target range and learning as much as I could that (paradoxically), I continued to be fairly inactive.  I have a desk job, so I don't get much physical activity in during the day, so any exercise I do get has to be purposeful.  That's it: purposeful.  You have to purposefully make an effort to get some extra movement in your day, and have to be downright committed to accomplish an actual workout for any given time.  I'm not going to lie; sometimes it's hard not to revert back to the ever-so-familiar couch potato position on those days that I'm super tired after work. 

Sometimes exercise is the last thing on my list of things I want to do.  And on those horrible D-days when you're on the rollercoaster of highs and lows, it's hard not to give in to the feeling that everything is screwed up anyway, so why bother?  Quite honestly, the only thing that gets me on my Gazelle those days is sucking it up and faking it.  When the motivation just plain isn't there, that's what you do: fake it and do it anyway.

The good news: Once you start, there's a chain reaction of awesomeness that tends to follow.  When you feel like you're doing something good for you and your health, you feel better about yourself.  You start to make better choices in your diet and subsequently pull yourself out of the rut of out-of-range BG numbers and general D-apathy.  Big change doesn't happen overnight; it's all of those small changes that add up over time and lead to success in whatever you're trying to achieve.  It's much easier to commit to (and stick to) small changes anyway...And once you do them so often that they become habit, you realize that getting from A to B wasn't as hard as you thought it was going to be.

Moral of the story?  Just try.  I'm serious.  Really, truly try (I'm talking honest effort, no excuses) to get some exercise today-any exercise, whatever you enjoy-and try to do it again tomorrow.  It's really that simple.  Take it one day at a time, do a little more each day, and before you know it, you'll be a habitual exerciser.  I think the most important thing is doing something you really enjoy rather than something you consider EXERCISE in the traditional sense of the word and hating it.  If you hate it, you're not going to stick with it, bottom line.  For example, I loathe treadmills.  I hate the feeling of running and getting nowhere.  But give me an elliptical (or, if you have my budget, a Gazelle) and I'm happy as a jaybird.  A walk or bike ride around the neighborhood on a nice day? I'm you're girl.  I just hate treadmills, and knowing this, I avoid them if there's any possible alternative.  After all, common sense will tell you that you'll put more effort into doing something you like, so why waste your time and energy on anything you truly hate doing?

Try and I can almost guarantee that something good will come of it.  It may be that you have more energy, or that you feel better about yourself, or maybe even that you see a difference in your BG numbers.  Any which way you look at it, exercise does everybody--and your body--good.

This post is my March entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival.  If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2011/march-dsma-blog-carnival